Love to be Home

Who Doesn't Love a Deal? Scholastic Teacher Express E-Downloads.

2011-09-18T14:21:00.002-04:00

I just heard about this awesome deal from a friend of mine and I had to share. From now, until September 20th, you can visit the Scholastic Teacher Express website and choose 10 of the dollar deals downloads (they have over 800 choices to pick from in a variety of subjects). Then when you go to check out, type in 10THANKS in the coupon box and you will get your 10 picks free.....FREE! Ahhh, music to the ears of this homeschooling mama.
http://teacherexpress.scholastic.com/dollardeals

A Week Away: Sunkissed noses and Campfire Songs.

2011-08-22T19:57:00.001-04:00

We just got home from a weeks stay at a Christian campground. The week was amazing and I wish we could have stayed for a much longer duration. Six people, five loads of laundry, 550 kms, sunkissed noses, scraped knees, muddy clothes, sticky fingers, campfire songs, and too many giggles to number. Add in some shared moments with friends, sunsets that could take your breath away, and a renewed sense of closeness to a loving God and you have one great week! I am blessed.

My Blog Button.

2011-07-26T10:10:00.002-04:00

Well, here it is....my new blog button!

210 Lovely Square Feet, and Curriculum!

2011-07-24T17:41:00.004-04:00

Along with the beginning of a new school year comes a new set of books to be organized, lesson plans to be made, art projects to be chosen, etc, etc. Those who homeschool, especially with the more "hands-on" types of curriculum, know how much work, preperation, sweat and love goes into this process. I'm pretty excited right now as we are currently undergoing renovations to make a school room in our new house. We've been here 18 months already, but we had more pressing issues to contend with, such as putting a new roof on the house and changing the furnace. Alas, now that we are sure our house will not flood (via the roof at the very least), and that we will have sufficient heat in the winter, the school room is numero uno on our priority list. 210 whole lovely square feet of space, devoted solely to academic pursuits! *ahh*. Only a teacher/mom can truly appreciate what this means. In a nutshell, more organization, which means less mess, and less stress. Anyway, I will try to get some before and after pictures up here once our project is complete. Wish me luck (not that I believe in luck). The overall appearance of your house ALWAYS gets worse before it gets better when renos are involved.
On a similar note, I have had many people ask me about what my curriculum choices for the upcoming year will be, so I decided to post the list for all to see. Here goes:

Art: Barry Stubbing Series.
Bible: Christian Light Education.
French: Ecoutez Parlez.
Geography: A Child's Geography & Galloping the Globe.
Gym: Local homeschooling gym class.
Health: Abeka health.
History: The Mystery of History.
Language: Christian Light Education.
Math: Christian Light Education.
Reading: Christian Light Education.
Science: Apologia Zoology 1 and Astronomy.

Add in a ton of "twaddle-free" books, lapbooking, library visits, field trips, swimming lessons and other athletic endeavours of the like and we have ourselves a pretty well rounded out school year :)

Discovering the Rock of Ages

2011-07-20T13:04:00.003-04:00

We are already past the midway point of our five day VBS! I am a leader in the grades 5-8 group, and it is amazing how fast the time flies when you are busy singing, playing, watching skits, hearing missionary stories and introducing little ones to Jesus; The Rock of Ages. I am so thankful that I was able to be a part of this. I had been feeling a little off lately, and I think this experience may have been just what I needed. It feels great to be a part of something bigger, working with others who love the Lord, and have a burden for the lost. It's amazing how God can use situations like this to refresh the souls of those involved. What a blessing it is to find that while I give of my time and talents for local children, it is making a difference in my own heart and life. The children and the volunteers are blessed. I have been leaving there everyday feeling encouraged and hopeful. God is good!

Fireworks, Family and a Super Size Washing Machine.

2011-07-06T00:29:00.003-04:00

How fast did this past week fly by?! Magic Man had a show in Wawa on Canada Day, so we drove up there early that morning. I had never been that far west before and what a day for it! On the day that Canadians celebrate what a great country we are priviledged to live in, we took in some of the magnificent sights our area has to showcase. As we travelled along the higway that runs parallel to Lake Superior we were in awe (once again) of the sheer beauty of creation. Rocky cliffs gazing down on a flurry of whitecaps, sandy shorelines calling my name. An abundance of greenery as far as the eye could see, gentle flowing creeks, bridges and blossoms. Oh, how I wish we had more time to explore! But alas, it was not to be this time around, so I made sure to note all the "tourist-y" sites that we intend to stop at the next time we travel that way.
The show was a big success, and the voyage was made all the sweeter as we were able to visit friends of ours who live in the quaint, waterfront town. I haven't seen my girlfriend in several months, so it was nice to be able to catch up. Her youngest child just turned a year old, and he is such a darling! I was completely enamoured with him. He has a set of baby blue eyes that melt my heart, and he is so smart. Anyway, it was really great to see them all. Magic man finished his show just in time to sit on the beach and watch the spectacular fireworks display put on by the community. So, our Wawa trip in a nutshell looked like this: visiting, magic show, beach, fireworks, chalet, sleep, visiting over breakfast and bon voyage!
From there, we headed out to the lake where my parents park their trailer year around. The drive took around four hours, but it was worth every minute. My grandparents and my sister were also there, as well as my aunt and uncle (and their children) and we were able to enjoy some long overdue time with them all. We also celebrated the birthday (two days early) of yours truly. We went swimming, made smores and went to bed that night completely exhausted. We wrapped up our trip with church in my hometown, a visit to my grandmother and then the drive home. It was one of those full weekends, that leave you feeling so blessed and thankful. Here's to being thankful for the big things, like friends, family, and freedom, and the little things like being able to enjoy fireworks, and owning a super size washing machine that can tackle the mounds of laundry that three days/two nights away manages to create.

1 Thess 5:18: In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.

I'm Back!

2011-06-24T15:49:00.004-04:00

So, as you can see from older posts, it's been way too long since I've been on here blogging. I enjoyed doing it before, but somehow life just managed to creep up on me and now two years have gone by. I will do my best to condense the changes in my life in the last two years. Here goes:

I resigned from my teaching position with our local public school board. This was definitely a hard decision, but the right one given that attempting to balance homeschooling and teaching was not working out as well as I had hoped. I LOVE teaching in schools, don't get me wrong, and I miss it a fair bit some days, but my place for the time being is in my home. I fully intend (Lord willing) to go back into the system once my homeschooling journey is done.

We bought a new house, and then moved into it! There are quite a few renos that we need to do, but we adore the neighbourhood. It is located in the middle of the city, yet it has a country feel to it, quiet and well treed. We see blue jays, woodpeckers, racoons, and other members of God's creation on a regular basis. Just in the past couple weeks we have had a fox come and visit a few times, much to the delight of the children. My neighour called the MNR, but they assured us that they could do nothing and that it would go away in a couple weeks...hmm.

Monkey and Bumblebee are now seven and twelve, turning eight and thirteen in September. They are both doing wonderfully, for the most part. Monkey has certainly lived up to his name, managing to break an arm, fracture a toe, get eight stiches in his knee, pull his intercostal chest muscle, need stiches in his knee (he wasn't able to get them because the tissue around it was damaged scar tissue from the year before when he got the stitches in his knee *sigh*), and on it goes. My husband began calling him "Captain Injury" and the boy wears the name like a badge! What's a mom to do? Bumblebee is less accident-prone, which I am thankful for. We have had no major injuries to speak of. She did have an ear infection once or twice, which I successfully treated at home with garlic and olive oil. They are both thriving, doing well in school and have made some wonderful friends in our neighbourhood, community, and through our local Homeschool Association.

My homeschooling style has grown more eclectic. I attribute it to the fact that I am a bonified "research-nerd". I just can't help myself! I don't want to be a sheep following blindly whoever leads the way, so I HAVE to look into near everything. It could be alot worse I guess. It can be time consuming, but so can alot of things. Say, for instance, if I took up smoking crack....THAT would be time consuming. (And I wouldn't)

My DH, otherwise known as "Magic Man" for the sake of this blog has been busy also. When he was laid off for six months (about 2 years ago) he decided that he would invest some time into something he was always interested in. So, he went down to the public library, checked out some books on magic/illusions and the rest is history! He now works (as a side business) regularly performing at schools, birthday parties, corporate events, fall fairs, hospitals, libraries and a variety of YMCA and other childrens programs. He usually takes Monkey with him to his performances. It has become a little part time job for him and he runs the video camera, changes music, helps set up, etc. It's been a great learning experience for everyone!

So, the preceeding was obviously just a super-condensed version of the going-ons in our life. There were some big changes and I don't want to overwhelm anyone with a book on my first day back :)

Worshipping Together

2009-06-22T09:46:00.008-04:00

So, this past weekend was amazing! Magic Man and I, along with Monkey and my younger sister attended a Christian music festival. It is always so inspiring to me to see people who are sold out for Jesus, using their bestowed gifts and talents to praise the one true God. No doubt he enjoys to see the same thing!

I can remember looking around at the people on the Friday night and feeling so at home. It's really hard to describe, but I felt an overwhelming sense of belonging. Back home, meeting a fellow believer is always such a joy, and I was given the wonderful opportunity to be surrounded by brothers and sisters lifting up the name of Jesus. I think we all need weekends like this; weekends where we can be reminded that we are part of a family (God's family). Where we are encouraged, strengthened and united by our shared love!

Gospel for Asia: Revolution in World Missions

2009-06-17T09:38:00.007-04:00

I so admire the work of the Gospel for Asia ministry! It was almost three years ago that I first read my copy of Revolution in World Missions by K.P Yohannen. From the moment I opened that dusty cover (okay it really wasn't that dusty, but it was sitting on my shelf untouched for quite some time) I was completely drawn in. Throughout the book he talks about reasons why it is more practical to employ the service of native missionaries to share the good news. In a nutshell, the ministry of Gospel for Asia uses various methods to train up native missionaries to be mature believers who can then bring the gospel of Jesus to their fellow countrymen. The cost of supporting a native missionary vs. a non-native one is so small. The native missionaries are used to living in the country directly alongside the people. The living conditions are likely something they have grown up with and they therefore bypass the 'getting-used-to' attitude that we as spoiled westerners tend to have. Another advantage is that they already speak the local language, which erradicates alot of potential barriers.
That is not to say that I think international are bad. I would be misguided to judge what the Lord has called someone to do! Rather I am considering the validity of the reasons, and concluding that from a logistical standpoint that the reasons FOR native missionaries are overwhelming. The Lord is doing a mighty work through the Gospel for Asia ministry, and it is so inspiring to hear of the lives changed. Here is a quick 2008 review of what God accomplished throughout Asia as a direct result of the work of GFA:

Number of new believers added to the church: 572, 339
Number of new fellowships: 6, 349
Number of new church buildings constructed throughout Asia: 1, 230
Pieces of Gospel literature produced and distributed: 33 million
Enrollment of children in Bridge of Hope: More than 53, 000

The stories I have read in the GFA SEND magazine have touched my heart in ways I never could have imagined. It is quite the feeling to know that you are a part of something much bigger! God is working in Asia so mightily that I can't help but worry about our own society. We have become so complacent, and lukewarm, as a westernized body of Christ that it makes our churches look lifeless in many ways. I know there are both individuals and local congregations that don't fit this description, but they are the exception (IMO) and not the rule. God is still performing miracles, even if they don't seem to be happening at the same rate that we are seeing in Asia. So this is my prayer for today:
Father God, you have placed me right where I am and I thank you. Please have mercy on me and my weaknesses. Continue to sanctify me and ever mold me into the person you want me to be. Thank you so much for the work that you are doing through Gospel for Asia and other like-minded ministries. Oh that you would be glorified in our lives. Create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me Lord that I might live in a way that is altogether pleasing to you. That I might live in a way that others might see the hope I have in you. That I might live my life, planted where I am, with an eternal focus. Thank you Jesus for saving me and for your finishing work on the cross. Thank you for the grace you so freely give. Help me to live in a way that is worthy of the calling Lord. Amen.

Autism and RDI

2009-06-12T00:11:00.003-04:00

ABA, IBI, RDI. These terms likely seem pretty foreign to you, unless of course you happen to have a child on the spectrum. When my daughter was diagnosed the psychologist recommended that we participate in the IBI program. IBI is short for Intensive Behavioural Intervention. I didn't hesitate to meet with the local program co-ordinator to 'get the ball rolling'. Very little time passed between receiving the official autism diagnosis and the call letting us know that our little bumblebee would be able to begin IBI in the fall. Before the call even came in I put on my research cap. If my daughter was going to be spending thirty house a week anywhere I had to be certain it was the best option for her. I visited the program, talked to people, read studies and sensed deep down that this program was not right for us.

I wanted to be sure that we were making the best decision possible so I very carefully weighed my options. I didn't know much about RDI early after the diagnosis but it only took one general introduction to what it was before I was thoroughly convinced my daughter would be best served by this program. IBI just struck me as unnatural and reminded me so much of B.F Skinner and his work on operant conditioning. I understand that some children may benefit from IBI and it may increase the chances that some children will talk, but for me words without that internal connection mean little when considering long term life outcomes. Besides, my daughter has always had a huge vocabulary so the program just didn't sit right with me.

One of my other biggest concerns was that what we hoped for our daughter is that she would be able to integrate into society when considering long term goals. I questioned the methods of putting a group of children all with moderate-severe autism in one area without the influence of neurotypical peers. It struck me that the significant models would be each other, not necessarily a good thing. My daughter had already moved past the tantrum stage and she was not aggressive, but how would she react if she constantly was bombarded with other children who were behaving in this manner. Would she pick up those aggresive behaviours. Seeing as how she quotes and scripts movies and other people I figured that was a definite possibility.

Then I had to consider that the skills that IBI was working on to accomplish were mastered almost in entirety by my daughter already. No, this was just not going to work. For further confirmation I invited the IBI program co-ordinator over to my house to meet my dd and spend some time with her. I valued her opinion as someone who had been involved in this for many years and had worked directly with many children on the spectrum. She gave me an unequivocal 'no'. The program was not suited for children like bumblebee. She was social and interactive. She also shared my sentiment that bumblebee likely had Aspergers. I had felt this from the get go as her language was never delayed. Sure she may have used it unconventionally and atypically but the language skills were there. We opted not to go for another evaluation right away because even if it was Aspergers, Aspergers is still Autism. Those core deficits are still the same, it is on the spectrum.

So back to RDI. I attended a general introduction on it and was sold out. Relational Development Intervention is focused on remediating the core deficits seen in Autism. It is focused less on static skills and more on dynamic interaction. It was concerned about the connectedness and relational interaction and seeked to remediate the weaknesses. The points brought up made absolute sense to me. What good is it if a child can say some words or follow a perfectly organized routine but they cannot hold down a job or make a friend. We wanted a quality of life for bumblebee and we quickly were convinced that RDI offered the best shot at that. While RDI consultants are few and far between, especially in Ontario, we managed to secure the private services of a local consultant. She had heard that we were going to start travelling to see a consultant living six hours away to do RDI and she said that she would not allow it. If we were that committed, she wanted to help. And just like that, a partnership was born!

We are currently in the early stages of RDI. We are seeing amazing progress with our sweet bumblebee who continues to both inspire and amaze! God has truly blessed us in this situation. First when the IBI co-ordinator was honest and agreed the program was not suited for my dd. This gave me the confidence to really consider other possibilities. A lady I know who worked with my dd in an early childhood program just happened to hear about the RDI general meeting and she called me to see if I would be interested in attending. Then our consultant generously agreed to take us on as private clients even though she currently works a full time job, and she was not in the business of taking on private clients. This in turn will save us thousands of dollars in fees and travel costs that would have been incurred had we have went ahead and signed on with the RDI consultant located six hours from our city. It's so amazing to see how God provides, and as I move forward with RDI (and life!) I do so leaning on him, and trusting in his sovereignty.

Autism and My Life.

2009-06-10T13:21:00.001-04:00

(I initially had 2 blogs.....one for general life and another for issues related to Autism. I have decided that it would be more practical to combine the two since Autism related issues play a central part in my everyday life. The following post was written on another blog.)

Autism. Everyone has heard of it. The number of people affected by it is staggering and ever increasing. My daughter was diagnosed with Autistic Disorder just over a year ago but I knew for quite some time before that. We were wait listed for over a year to see someone and I took that time to learn as much as I could about what exactly autism is, what it looks like, how it presents, therapies, etc. I am definitely not the kind of person who takes a laid back approach when it comes to my children or really anything that needs investigating. A definite type 'A' I like to get involved, research and learn so I can take an active role advocating for my precious little one.

Bumblebee was officially diagnosed when she was four and a half years old. She is highly verbal and precocious, social and sweet. Like all children who find themselves somewhere on the spectrum she has trouble with certain things like communicating (specifically the fluid, two-way, give and take, back and forth chatter) and emotional reactions. It has been shown that in children with Autism their brain centres develop unevenly and the connectivity of those centres is underdeveloped. This is precisely why you often see such uneven skill sets. For example, bumblebee can read at a level way beyond her age. Her fellow classmates could be working on three letter words and she is zimming along through a book created for children several years her senior. Contraversly, her emotional maturity and flexibility resembles that seen in children half her age. Uneven.

This is one of the reasons that we have chosen to homeschool. She has the freedom to work on things that challenge her and also the time to decompress from stress when need be. There will be no bells ringing so loudly that she is frightenened, unless the smoke detector is activated which does happen on occasion. She can read a book recommended for children several years older if she so chooses and we can recognize when she is being overstimulated and give her the opportunity to calm down.

Autism has forever changed me. It has forever changed the way I look at life, love and family. In many ways it has taught me what it means to be humble. You cannot feel that sense of self pride by your 'perfect little well behaved children' when your toddler is having a tantrum right in the middle of a powerful sermon. It takes humility to parent a child with special needs. They are often not predictable. This keeps me on my knees. I have faith that God has blessed my husband and I with this beautiful child so that he may be glorified. I take joy in the sweet moments of connection shared between bumblebee and I. God has taught me to cherish small moments, small steps and most of all to trust him and his sovereignty.

Educational Preference and Why I Homeschool?

2009-06-10T10:52:00.004-04:00

I realize that this topic might be overdone but having recently made the decision to resume homeschooling I am using this blog as an outlet to clarify my personal reasons. While I don't feel the need to justify my choice I am also aware that there are some reading this post who genuinely cannot understand why anyone would want to educate their children at home.

Homeschool families are as unique as fingerprints. Methods, styles, techniques and approaches are adopted based on individual students and the family. Scheduling, activities and interests are not one size fits all when it comes to the average homeschooled child. However, while there are many differences from one family to the next I believe that all families share the following sentiment: We believe that we can do a better job educating our children in our own home. Bold? Maybe. True? I think so. The reasons are varied, but the fact that remains is that most people who homeschool are firmly convinced that the quality of education they are giving their children is higher than the one received by the average public school student.

But how can they homeschool if they are not qualified? This is an interesting question since in all actuality it is a subjective one. What makes a person qualified to teach anyway, a couple years of post secondary education and a fancy certificate? I beg to differ! While I am in a unique situation in that I am a qualified teacher (still working on an occasional basis) in my province I don't think that this directly relates to my ability to teach my own children in any way. On the other hand, I think that there are plenty of 'qualified' teachers who do not do a very good job in the education field. Some lack the passion and concern. Others see themselves as glorified babysitters just counting down the hours until the bell rings or counting down the months until they can pass "insert name" on to the next teacher. Not all teachers have this attitude. But the teachers that love their job, have genuine concern for the best interest of each child and can be creative in instilling a lifelong love of learning are the exception, not the rule. I can say this truthfully from a staff room insiders vantage point. I have been in countless schools where the children are talked down about, and the teachers have a generally lackadaisical attitude. This is not some well kept secret knowledge I am alluding to. Anyone who went to a public school growing up can think of some teachers who should not have been teachers.

Post secondary qualifications aside (which you don't actually need to homeschool) the reasons continue. Whether you want your children to be able to pursue and explore the arts more or to allow more time to develop their passion of writing, the individual benefits are staggering. Bumblebee loves art. She does not get her talent for this subject from me and yet I can nurture this interest and talent in a way that is not realistic to expect in an overflowing classroom. Monkey on the other hand is happiest when he can be active. He is a kinesthetic learner, arguably the worst kind of learner to be when it comes to most public school classrooms. Some teachers, who themselves were probably kinesthetic learners, recognize the different learning styles represented by their students and do their best to accomodate, but even their accomodation cannot be personally individualized. It is not logical just based on sheer numbers.

Now we come to the religious aspects of homeschooling. Many people think that all homeschoolers are convicted of their decision to homeschool as a direct result of their personal faith. This is not always the case. There are pagan homeschoolers, secular homeschoolers, and yes there are most certainly Christian homeschoolers. I personally know a very nice lady here in my city who educates her two children at home purely because she knew she could do a better job. She is not a christian but she saw the value and advantages that homeschooling could provide. I am a born again, bible-believing christian so in my case my faith did play some what of a role in my decision. I believe that I can better disciple my children in the faith at home. I think that I can protect their hearts, teach them about God and family, teach them to have their own ministry and minimize the negative influence of some peers. What about friends? I am certainly not suggesting that the children will be locked away from society just because I will be educating them at home. The last time we homeschooled Monkey played homeschool hockey, league hockey and baseball, and participated in various clubs and activities. One of the great joys of homeschooling is that you can help your children to both understand what friendship is, and then nurture those friendships. At the same time you can put the emphasis on something more important; family.

The freedom that comes with homeschooling is such a blessing. The work is often done by lunch time and then we can go out and explore our world. Parks, museums, hiking trails and road trips can be experienced with much more enthusiasm when the children are at home because the time is available. The typical 9-5 job with 2-3 children and activities is exhausting IMO. I prefer to be able to stop and smell the flowers, read a good book, enjoy creation and be able to better discover who my children are because they are around. The preceeding reasons I listed are just a few of the ones that played a role in my decision to homeschool. The first and foremost reason we came back to it is that God put it on our hearts that we should make disciples of our children. Since they are home with us we can talk to them, teach them, educate them and enjoy them. What a blessing!

Bringing Home My Baby Bumblebees

2009-06-10T08:53:00.003-04:00

So they're not exactly babies (5 and 10 would harldy qualify them for that status) and they are of the human variety, but still. I couldn't help but hum that line of the song last night. The rest of the song does not quite apply to my situation so nicely. Somewhere in the song it describes how the little child is "squishing up my baby bumblebees". To those who may be concerned I can assure you that I in no way intend to "squish" my baby bumblebees.

Clearly I am excited about this though. Whenever I think or talk about our recent decision to resume homeschooling I feel pure joy. I'm not delusional though. I know that there will be challenges this time around as there were before. But despite all the challenges I can rest in that if God has called our family to do this he will supply the strength we need to do it well. Perfect? No. There will be times that I might not remember why I am doing this. There will be times when the laundry is piling up, the children are testing my patience and I need a holiday. Don't we all! But I am so looking forward to all the wonderful blessings that come from educating your little ones at home.

You should have seen me when we finally decided. I got right to work little a good worker bee. I know, this whole bee thing has got to stop! How can one person have so much fun with a preschool tune life comparison? I did move quickly though. I put my research cap on, compared, read, comtemplated and finally chose and ordered our curriculum. When we first homeschooled our oldest child I felt like I needed a "curriculum in a box" which contained everything I would need from one company. This time around we are going with more of an eclectic approach. While we will be using one source for the bulk of our education (math, language arts, reading and bible) we will be using many different products that suit our individual needs for spelling, art, writing, history/geography and science. I am much more confident going into it this time around, and it is an added bonus that it is only June and all of my curriculum for 2009/2010 is already on shelves ready to go. It's a nice feeling really.

So I thought that I would come up with some names that I will use for my children on this blog. My daughter who is five years old will be appropriately known by bumblebee. She is on the Autism spectrum and we are seeing her succeed in ways that completely amaze me. Kind of like how the bumblebee should not be able to fly based on its weight vs wing span. However even if it is not "supposed" to fly, it does. It doesn't know that its wings should not physically be able to support its fat little body. I love how God has made so many animals that just do not make sense in our worldly scientific understanding, like the platypus OR the bumblebee. For my son, who is ten years old, I have carefully chosen the name Monkey. To clarify, this choice in no way implies that I believe that humans have evolved from primates. Monkeys are social, active and funny. They are smart and have very distinct personalities. They can be stubborn, but overall they are just sweet and cute. And so there pseudo names are born. Monkey and Bumblebee. I love them! (The children, and the names)

A New Season

2009-06-09T23:17:00.002-04:00

As the springtime weather begins to slowly be replaced by the warmth of summer here in the North, I am reminded about how there is a season for everything. In some ways this blog is representative of a new season in our family. To make a long story short we had put both our children in the local public school this year. I am a substitute teacher myself and I wasn't sure if I could handle both homeschooling and working occasionally. Although I was never fully at peace with the decision, away they went. Looking back now I realize that when I made the decision I was focusing on me. My gaze was momentarily shifted off of the great and mighty God that I serve and all I could see was my fragile humanness. And while it is a good thing to know and recognize weaknesses it is a greater thing to understand and acknowledge that "I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me." ( Phillipians 4:13)

This year held many trials for me as the issue of homeschooling was constantly on my heart. I would move along comfortable for a while only for the issue to re-appear front and center in my mind. This basically happened every few weeks. Honestly I should have been smart enough to realize that clearly this was Gods will for my life again but I didn't want to be hasty and make a rash decision. I was so concerned about my ability to educate them well and so concerned about my own weaknesses that I was sort of paralyzed in this state of indecision. Not good! I rationalized that my daughter had a good teacher (which she did) and that my son had a lot of wonderful friends and that surely I wasn't being called to homeschool once again.

After months of this indecisive turmoil my husband and I made a decision that has finally brought some semblance of peace to my heart. We were meant to be homeschooling and if we continued to enroll the children year after year into the public school system we would continue to feel torn and uneasy. Each year would likely be a repeat of this year for me which essentially amounted to eight months of questioning and many sleepless nights. The time and season has not been in vain however. God has used this situation to teach me many lessons. I would argue that the most important of which was for me to grasp that I should not be relying on my strength in this venture, but on the very strength of Jesus Christ, my personal Lord and Savior. The burden that has been lifted off of me is amazing and as I turn my eyes towards him and trust in his provision I can once again smile and be at peace knowing I am sitting in the center of his will for my life. My faith has blossomed into something much more beautiful as a result. God is so good that he can turn even such a crazy season into one where true learning and spiritual growth take place. In short, he can use even this for his glory!